In two days I’ll be on a plane to Asia and life will never be the same. I’ve been keeping a secret from you guys that I haven’t been able to share until now.
Brad and I have separated. He’s been living in Florida since June and I bought a one way ticket to Bangkok to leave this life behind and start over. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make—one I’ve struggled with for years. But all you saw on this blog was a facade of a seemingly happy, perfect life. And it was, on paper—I had almost everything I’d ever wanted and dreamed about. So why couldn’t I be happy?
I’ve debated how much to open up and share with the world. This is just a DIY blog, everyone only wants to see pretty pictures and tutorials, right? For those of you in that camp, I apologize for the sudden turn of events, and no hard feelings if you want to move on. I have no idea what will become of this blog, because my entire life is up in the air right now. For the very first time I have no plans for the future. I’ll be landing in Bangkok with nothing but a backpack and my camera, no itinerary or familiar faces. Hoping a solo trek across Southeast Asia will allow me to find clarity and discover myself, on my own, without any crutches to fall back on.
A year ago I would have been terrified of the idea. But I’ve been going through a profound metamorphosis for months. The layers of my cocoon have been peeling away and Thailand is the last phase where I can finally break free and spread my wings, seeing the world through completely different eyes. Every fiber of my being is pulling in this direction. I’m not scared at all. This is the new Jenna Sue.
I’ve been journaling and documenting this entire process, feeling compelled to record every thought and emotion. It’s the most defining era in my life and I don’t want to forget a single moment. My goal is to be as raw and honest as possible throughout my backpacking journey while working through this personal transformation and finding real meaning in life. I know there are so many others out there with similar feelings but they’re too afraid/unsure/unaware to voice them… and I truly hope you continue to read this blog as I share more of my story, and find value and inspiration in the path I chose.
You are the designer of your destiny. You are the author. You write the story. The pen is in your hand, and the outcome is whatever you choose.
My next post will be live from Thailand. I hope to have you on board with me and sincerely appreciate every uplifting word and thought sent my way. Here’s to a brave new life…
Kristin says
So sorry to hear of your recent separation Jenna Sue…. I’ve been following your blog for several years now and love to read about all that you do…. Wishing you love and enlightenment, and hoping you find inspiration and joy in your travels. I look forward to reading all about it <3
Kristin says
Hope you are safe and were not near the shrine in Bangkok that was bombed. Please check in so we know you’re okay x
Min says
I have just seen the tragic news of the bomb explosion in Bangkok, read about the loss of life and the injuries…. Jenna Sue, please reassure us that you are alright, please!
Drake Dahlinghaus says
You always have been and will continue to be an inspiration, Jenna, no matter what. I wish you the best on your journeys, design and otherwise.
Erin | Holtwood Hipster says
Bold. Brave. Inspiring. My sincerest best wishes for you and your journey.
Alexandra says
“Lord, you have made us for yourself and our hearts are restless till they rest in Thee”
St Augustine
Ashley says
Jenna,
I’ve been going through the same thing this year. Sometimes life looks so great on paper, but the heart truly knows. Follow the heart. Some day’s the world can be so suffocating that it makes it hard to catch your breathe. Enjoy this adventure. Know that you aren’t alone and we all wish you the best of luck. Hang in there girl.
ann says
Wow – did not see that coming.
Please let us know about Biscuit and Susie.
Jill says
I just read your post last night and wake up this morning to see there was a bomb in Bangkok!! I’ve read your blog for a while now and have never posted, but with all that has just happened I think we would all like to know you are safe! Please let us know you are okay…
Frances says
Jenna,
I’ve been a loyal follower of your blog ever sense your Florida house, I will continue to follow your journey. I’m excited to see the outcome of this adventure you are taking! Cant wait to see your next post.
xoxo
Leigh says
First and foremost, I pray for your marriage. Of course I know nothing about what goes on behind closed doors, so when my assumption is one of just a loss of feeling and not abuse or infidelity, please know that’s from where I’m coming with my comment. As someone that has been there and done that, I pray that you will really fight for your marriage. It’s sad, for me, to see someone that has possibly fallen for the myth of finding oneself. I sense a pattern with you. Your time in Florida, moving back to be near family, taking on a fixer upper, and now your new adventure were and are all attempts and hopes of putting yourself in new situations and hoping for a new Jenna. Those situations usually work but only temporarily.
I know you mentioned looking good on paper and that makes perfect sense for a person that makes her living looking good on paper. I suggest taking a long break from blogging. Definitely keep the journal, but take a break from writing for others. You don’t need uplifting comments or advice from people like me – strangers. I can only tell you from experience that the biggest metamorphosis you will ever experience is fighting through those times in a marriage when you’re just not “feeling” it or only looking good on paper.
I admit that my viewpoints are decidedly Christian. I think that you are married to your husband for a reason. It is not an accident you married him. You mentioned being in a new location where you can no longer fall back on certain crutches but we humans are amazing at finding ways to make new crutches or modifying our old ones to fit the new location. I think what you’re looking for is right where you left it – at home.
Diane Taylor says
Jenna – how brave of you to come forward and share this part of your life. It’s not easy. Life is messy – imperfect and tilted and crazy. The only sane thing is you – I hope you find a new beginning and fly on wings you never knew you had.
I would not leave this blog if you paid me.
Be safe and I hope you land softly in your new life :):)
Sam says
Jenna,
I’ve only been following you for 3 days…in search of some great DIY tips. I went and opened my page this morning at 5:30 and read this. Your right. This is like a cyber world. None of us know what your heart has been going through. I had to scroll all the way down the page because I know there are some who are touched and feel your pain. I for one have been there. When I’ve figured out that some relationships were based on lies and questions. Just remember not to run away from someone or something in this life. Please keep us posted of your journey.
Bruce says
I seriously thought you were trying to play some sort of joke when I started reading this blog post. I’m sorry to hear of your troubles, and I hope you have an insightful time in Thailand.
Roeshel says
Wishing you the best in your new adventures, Jenna! And looking forward to following along! xo
Cassandra E says
But I just found you! I’ve had to sit with your news for a day, scroll around the blog and see it with new eyes. You know, what’s really bothering me? You must miss your kitties. Where are they? What happens to your beautiful home? I know you’ll answer what you’re prepared to answer all in your own time. Some of my questions are salacious, like about your home. But my heart really hurts for your heart in all that you must be feeling. I remember a post a bit back where you’d asked for prayer, and my heart felt for you then too.
I guess since I just got here, I can go back over your old posts, and look forward to your new adventures. But I send you love and well wishes on your new adventure.